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"Never include your name or even initials." Keep your About Me section positive and fun, the way you'd ideally come across at a cocktail party.

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One night, after another bad match and a solo bottle of wine, Webb rejoined JDate—this time posing as a man, to check out her competition. Webb crafted 10 male profiles so perfect they had to be fake (sample code name: Jewish Doc1000) to gather data: what the site's most popular women looked like, which keywords they used, how they timed their messages."It seemed strange now, that I'd just slap together my online dating profile, when I'd spent days agonizing over my résumé, tweaking and massaging it to land the perfect job," Webb writes in (Duffon), one of three new books about online dating out this month, in which she ­recounts how she cracked the online dating code to meet her now husband.

But such lightweight openers are disarming, approachable.

"If someone said to you 'I'm uncomplicated, generally in a happy mood, and I like to do stuff,' you'd want to hang out with him or her, right?

According to Slater, it's one of the few business models in which clients' failures are the company's win—the longer we seek, the more money they make.

Aiming to short-circuit this cycle, "e-flirt expert" Laurie Davis' hyperprescriptive 1.

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